Pretty cliched? Or pretty familiar?
But seriously, I think it was mainly about “Gnothi Seauton”. You know, knowing myself and who am I, what’s my purpose, why do I exist? Blah. Because of that, I became a “suki” in my school’s Guidance Counseling Office where I shouted, threw a fit, laughed, cried (always), bit my lower lip in guilt and upon going out, of course: the usual new wave of sunny perspective and fresh air that it’s not always too late to change.
When I was in elementary, it was my favorite ENGLISH teacher who saved me.
When I was in high school, it was my favorite ENGLISH teacher who gave me my very wet wake up call: I was late in getting the exams because I went to Singapore to “clear my mind & get away” from school. So I took special exams and by the time Sir Boy gave me my English test paper, it consisted of my usual long essay, low score and well, a little note for me:
Tami,
Indifference and laziness will take it’s toll upon you… I am so concerned about you because you are so “gifted” yet you are not using it for your future. WAKE UP!
Sir Boy
And before I knew it, I was crying right in front of my girlfriends. Now, let’s see what will happen in College.
I graduated in high school without any major awards to be proud of. I actually had a messy graduation, due to the fact that I was called in the Principal’s office because of MATH. But boy! My wide smile erupted when Sir Boy published 3 articles that I wrote and made by heart in compliance to my English class. He took out my projects and published it on our school’s official publication paper and guess what, I actually had a full page back to back spot about my testimony that having “12 fingers” is nothing to be ashamed of.
Now you see, I was an Hija from Hijas, an Angelican from Angelicum, and now, I am a Paulinian from St. Paul University. Pretty religious and Catholic, right? But now I guess you’ve heard how much I abhor and rattle about anything that is religious and Catholic. Just ask my Rel Ed teachers. (Mind you, why did they named it as “Religious Education” when in fact they only teach about anything that is purely Catholic? It should be named Catholic Education or something.)
If you believe in such things as third eyes, auras, premonitions, precognitions, etc., I’m the one to talk to.
Before you continue reading, PLEASE DON’T FREAK OUT.
I’ve had my fair share of people freaking out and mumbling how weird I am.
My 6th sense WAS pretty much active. I used to see people, beings, I used to hear them call me, and
they’re always with me. Well, they’re actually around us. Even right now. Yeap. Right at this very moment. (Oh dear, I hope you’re with someone. Your cats can actually see ‘em.)
Want to hear more?
Shocker: I am very active in dreamland which I refer to as the “Other World”.
I have talked to St. Dominic. I was kneeling in front of him then, he suddenly MOVED. Have you seen the book he’s always holding? Well, you might envy me because he actually let me read it, being the bookworm that I am.
The book was in an ancient language, duh, and guess what. I have read it fluently and that I have actually understood it! My, the earthquake right outside the church stopped as soon as I have stopped reading the paragraph which he instructed me to read.
And Yeshua. Yeap, THE Jesus. I was with him too, twice, actually. When I met him he was nailed on his cross but he was pretty clean, without the cuts, blood, and the bruises. Without the thorns, even. He smiled and gave me a small silver globe with a cross on the top of it. What is it? It felt so real that I had to transport back to “This World”.
My mom knew everything about it, in fact, she was even with me during my battles that I have bluntly told her that there was demon lurking on the wall.
Have you ever experienced that your soul was being pulled out from your body? Literally. I did! It only stopped when “someone” touched my forehead and there was a blinding light which came from nowhere then the pulling out stopped. That’s when I stopped seeing things and hearing them.
Oh, and I can tell the future, well, just a wee bit of it. My mom actually accused me of eavesdropping one time because I told her something that’s not supposed to be something that I should know about. But of course, it also came with advantages. I get to warn my family if something’s going to happen. Like one time I dreamt of a really big fire and later that afternoon, oh gods, some building here in Iloilo are burning down.
Strange, huh?
Coming to the “light” part: I started doing yoga, I became a strict vegetarian, and I started doing crazy meditations and chanting in Sanskrit before I got to bed and before Apollo would come out and drive his golden chariot up the sky to wake up half of the globe. It was pretty nice, I recommend it. I became radiant and blooming (char!), I became healthy too. But then college.
Holy Molly.
College had to ruin it. Or should I say that I allowed college to ruin it. Then, that leads us to:
Bang Bang: Apostacy
Faith is a rational weapon, more powerful than any implement of war ever made by man. A mass of dead people are walking in this Earth, eating with me, living with me, laughing with me, conversing with me. My thoughts about this matter are beyond words. I am an apostate.
I believed. I yielded. I learned. I deviated. Am I to be considered
dead as well? i was raised as a Catholic, papers and act. I came from a
family of devout Catholic believers. I was educated in Catholic
institutions. I went to Catholic events and took part in its religious
practices. I saw the Redeemer in my dreams. I talked to saints in my
dreams. Then I became an apostate, a turn-coated rat.
Now I find myself extremely liable for my own accounts on
whatsoever that is veiling this huge and revolving breathing sphere.
Noticeably, I just earned myself a label that will soon provide no
significant memory as each day would pass and die. As an apostate, what
will become of me? A quisling capable of ruining my own youth?
Rotting in hell is a rational and sensible thought to give me the
creeps for a moment but then, what comes next? If faith is rational,
then so is fear. A biological being I may be, wandering this world with
auras of things and emotions that my eyes cannot see, am I still subject
to feel fear? Am I not exempted t be saved when the so called Rapture
is transparently roving the face of this momentarily living planet?
I am an apostate, self-proclaimed. I lie. I laugh. I trick. I fool
mt own self, utterly lacking the beliefs that was presented to me by my
family, my alma matter, my mentors, and the last priest who heard my
awful deviation during my last desireless and regurgitated confession on
the holy grounds of a sacred and antiquated Catholic colony.
I looked up, today, at the crying sky and saw a big man looking at me.
He had a gun and he pointed the weapon at me.
Bang. Bang.
